Saturday, August 11

What Not To Wear - Resources - Eternal Perspective Ministries

What Not To Wear

In 1 Timothy 2:9, the Lord provides three guidelines that help Christian women figure out what and what not to wear: "She adorns herself with respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control." Let's examine these three guidelines to help us ensure that our looks are in good order, properly arranged, and ready to display Christ.

Is It Becoming or Unbecoming?

Kosmio is the descriptive form of the Greek noun kosmos (to put in order, trim, adorn, or decorate), which is related dressesto our English word cosmos—the universe. The Greeks regarded the universe to be an ordered, integrated, harmonious whole. Kosmos is the opposite of chaos. So when Paul told women that their adornment should be kosmio, he meant that like the universe, all the parts should be harmoniously arranged with the other parts. It should be "becoming"—that is, appropriate or fitting. Given the context, I believe Paul was implying that our adornment ought to be becoming on a number of different levels.

First and foremost, your clothing ought to be becoming, fitting to, and consistent with your character as a child of God. But it also ought to be becoming to your body type, becoming to your femininity, becoming to your husband, becoming to the other clothes you are wearing, and becoming to the occasion and place you intend to wear it. There's a tremendous amount of guidance in that small word, becoming. It challenges you to evaluate your clothes, shoes, purses, makeup, and hair from multiple angles as part of the harmonious, integrated whole of your life—to line up the seen with the unseen and the temporal with the eternal. It challenges you to bring a cosmic perspective to bear on your everyday decisions.

I like the word Paul chose. It has enormous implications. Kosmio means that a Christian woman's "look" ought to be consistently put together, inside and out. This challenges those who put an undue emphasis on external appearance as well as those who neglect their personal appearance. It's a corrective to women who dress extravagantly. It's a corrective to those who dress seductively. But it's also a corrective to those who think that "holy" means frumpy, ugly, unfeminine, and out of style. Becoming indicates that running around in baggy jeans and T-shirts all the time is just as inappropriate as being obsessed with stylish clothing. It means that a woman's appearance ought to be put together nicely. It ought to be pleasant and attractive—on the inside and the outside.

Is It Decent or Indecent?

The second word, aidous, is based on the Greek term for shame and disgrace. The word is a blend of modesty and humility. When I think about a word picture that personifies this concept, I think of approaching God with eyes that are downcast.

It involves a sense of deficiency, inferiority, or unworthiness. It suggests shame, but also a corresponding sense of reverence and honor toward rightful authority. It's the opposite of insolence, imprudence, disrespect, or audacity. Downcast eyes are the opposite of defiant eyes.

So does dressing with your eyes downcast mean that you are self-conscious? No. It means that your clothing tells the truth about the gospel. Your clothing shows the world that Jesus covers your shame and makes you decent. Your clothes cover your nakedness as the clothing of Christ covers your sin.

Dressing "with eyes downcast" means that you choose clothes that are decent in His eyes . . . not clothes that are provocative, seductive, and that honor nakedness. When you dress decently, you recognize that God ordained clothes to cover, and not draw attention to, your naked skin. You cover up out of respect for Him, the gospel, your Christian brothers—and out of respect for who He made you to be. Decency means you agree with the Lord about the true purpose of clothing and set aside your self-interest to dress in a way that exalts Christ.

So in that dressing room trying on that skirt, take time to sit, bend, and stretch in front of that mirror, and ask yourself, Is this skirt decent? Does it do what it should do? Does it properly cover me up? Does it showcase my underlying nakedness—or exalt the gospel of Christ?

Is It Moderate or Excessive?

The final thing to ask yourself about clothing is whether it is moderate or excessive. Paul uses the Greek word sophrosunes. It means "of a sound mind; curbing one's desires and impulses, self-controlled, temperate." The word indicates that our adornment should be reasonable and not crazy. We ought to rein in our impulses and avoid extremes in fashion, hairstyles, and makeup. We also ought to avoid spending crazy amounts of money or stuffing our closets full of crazy quantities of clothing. We ought to govern our wardrobe choices with a sense of moderation, simplicity, and self-control. If the outfit is crazy extreme, crazy expensive, or if it's crazy for you to be buying another one, then you ought to pass it up.

Understanding the purpose of clothing and asking yourself the three questions, Is it becoming? Is it decent? and Is it moderate? will help you figure out how to dress. And don't forget to include your "Helper" in the process. The Holy Spirit is an invaluable source of assistance when it comes to figuring out whether or not your appearance glorifies God. If your heart is right and you seek His guidance, He will be your personal wardrobe consultant and teach you what and what not to wear.•

Mary Kassian is an award winning author, popular speaker, and a distinguished professor of women's studies at Southern Baptist Seminary. She has published several books, Bible studies and videos, including: Girls Gone Wise, In My Father's House, and the Feminist Mistake. This article was originally posted on her website, Girls Gone Wise: www.girlsgonewise.com/what-not-to-wear/.


This article appeared in the Summer 2012 issue of EPM's quarterly magazine Eternal Perspectives.

Thursday, August 9

7 Steps to Avoid Sexual Sin and Stay in Ministry by Dustin Neeley - ChurchLeaders.com - Christian Leadership Blogs, Articles, Videos, How To's, and Free Resources

7 Steps to Avoid Sexual Sin and Stay in Ministry

7 Steps to Avoid Sexual Sin and Stay in Ministry

by Dustin Neeley

As some of you already know, last week was hard.

A good friend of mine disqualified himself from ministry due to an inappropriate relationship with a woman in his church. While the need for vigilance in this area is fresh on my mind, I want to try to redeem this tragedy by offering the following 7 thoughts in an effort to spare us, our families, and our churches from a similar fate.

1. Don't say it can't happen to you.

While most of us readily nod our heads in agreement, in our hearts we can still live in functional unbelief of this fact. We need to constantly remind ourselves of Paul's warning to the Corinthians in 1 Cor. 10:12

12 Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.

That means it CAN and COULD happen to us, and we must be vigilant in this area and all others. The world is broken, our enemy is against us, and our flesh is weak.

2. Repent of your pride and self-righteousness in this area.

The Bible clearly teaches

Prov. 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Every pastor I've ever known who has fallen into sexual sin was one who at one point believed that he never would. So often, it is our pride that allows us to "push the envelope" and think we are the exception to the rule. It is also pride that can keep us from getting the help we need so that we could have avoided this particular fall in the first place. Most affairs don't begin on a whim. The seeds are sown in soil of an unhappy or tumultuous marriage. Brothers, if there are currently problems in your marriage, please reach out to someone and deal with them now so that you don't become a statistic later.

3. Put all the needed safeguards in place–and keep them there.

Prov. 16:17 The highway of the upright avoids evil; those who guard their ways preserve their lives.

All of us know this is true, but are we living as if it is true?

We know that we shouldn't being alone with a member of the opposite sex, but do we keep our rule faithfully?

We know we should have working porn filters on our computers, but do we?

We can all agree any of our practices can be cumbersome at times, but situations like this remind us that they are more than worth it.

Please, brothers, for the sake of the Gospel and our churches, heed the warning today and employ whatever specific practices you need to keep yourself pure and your ministry intact.

7 Steps to Avoid Sexual Sin and Stay in Ministry

by Dustin Neeley

4. Don't just have a plurality in place–have one in practice.

Far too many churches have a plurality of elders on paper but, in reality, have a senior pastor surrounded by "yes-men." This kind of unhealthy leadership system only aids in the conducting and concealing of sexual misconduct.

If you are concerned about a member on your team, even if it is the most senior leader, please have the courage to sound the alarm. Of course, this should be done personally, honorably, and hoping the best for all parties involved, but silence is often exactly what allows deeds done in secret to remain in secret for so long. Don't be afraid to ask the hard questions. Too much is on the line.

On a similar note, this means we also have to practically "have the backs" of our teammates in ministry. I saw this in action a few years ago when our church was still meeting at a local high school. After our gathering, I got "cornered" by a single girl who had questions about our church. Seeing what was unfolding, one of my elders came and stood (conspicuously) next to me until our conversation was finished. He protected us all that day, and I am thankful for his friendship.

How well are you protecting your team in this area?

5. Make your wife your partner in purity.

This is a tricky issue, and there is some legitimate debate over how "in the loop" she needs to be. My perspective is that

Your wife needs to know enough to be prayerful but not so much that she is paranoid.

Practically, this means that your wife needs to know that emotionally needy women are often attracted to pastors, and those pastors don't notice what is happening right before their eyes. It also means that she needs to know that regular intimacy with her is a helpful practice that can keep you from looking for it elsewhere. It may also mean that she may periodically check out your phone or Facebook page for anything inappropriate. At a minimum, protecting each other's integrity should be a topic of regular conversation.

How are you and your wife partnering together for the sake of each other's purity?

6. When in doubt, err on the side of caution.

Most practically, this may mean that you simply don't hire a female assistant.

Some guys do it, and things are fine, but plenty of guys do it and that is exactly where everything begins to unravel. For most lead pastors, their assistant works more closely with them than nearly anyone else in their lives and, in my view, that role being held by a member of the opposite sex is a risky endeavor. I do not recommend it.

Also, unless there is some kind of extreme circumstance, I avoid traveling alone. In addition to the obvious accountability, it also affords extra mentoring time on the road for my younger pastoral or church planting residents.



Regards,

IAT Boluwatise

Sent from my iPad

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