Saturday, April 26

How God Sent a Divine Airport Connection


Sweat drenched my back under a heavy winter coat; a weighty and oversized backpack hung on my back, a child was strapped on my front, and I tightly gripped a large suitcase. Amidst morning breath and a hint of coffee, a crowd of Ukrainians yelled furiously around me at the Lufthansa service window, where we all waited to be seen. The airport had become a madhouse.
 
Although I did not understand what the Lufthansa worker had announced in Russian, by the loud and exuberant responses from the Ukrainians, I knew it meant a delay in travel. I had been gone from my family for seven weeks. I had missed Christmas by three days. Emotionally, I was not sure I could do another hour, let alone another day.
 
To my far left, I noticed a Lufthansa worker who walked purposefully toward the service window. Somehow I managed to squeeze through the crowd while pulling hard on my suitcase and keeping a protective arm around Nina—who was in a trance—overwhelmed by the large crowds and the shouting.
 
"Excuse me!" I yelled toward the man. "Excuse me!"
 
The man acknowledged me and walked to meet me just a few feet away from the yelling crowd.
 
"Do you speak English?" I asked.
 
"Yes. How can I help you?" His English was polite and sounded well-practiced.
 
"Can you tell me what the announcement was?"
 
"The airport is closed."
 
My knees felt like buckling, and panic threatened to overcome me.
 
"What ... what do you mean the airport is closed?"
 
"Due to the snowstorm, the airport has been closed today."
 
"What about my flight to Frankfurt?" I demanded.
 
"Your flight has been cancelled since the plane was not able to arrive today. Maybe tomorrow you will have better luck." The man gave me a polite nod and turned toward the back door of the service desk.
 
"Wait!" I called after him. "What am I supposed to do?"
 
"You need to stand in line and wait for your turn so we can get you rescheduled for another flight."
 
I watched him walk away.
 
The sting of tears burned my eyes while I willed them to stay away. Not now, I thought. I cannot lose it here.
 
Like a film in slow motion, I watched as the mob continued their shouts of complaints.  There were no lines, no order. It was survival of the fittest; whoever could push their way towards the window got served first. I was no stranger to crowds and pushing my way through—I was a tough girl raised in Mexico City—but I carried a child, a backpack and a suitcase. Worse, my emotional stability was already so depleted, I knew I would not be able to stand and fight the crowd.
 
I eyed a folding chair by the service window. I reached for the empty chair with my free hand and began dragging it toward the crowd of people. A man grabbed the chair and tried to pull it back to its empty corner.
 
"Niet," he said.
 
I was not going to lose my grip on the chair. "I am sorry. I did not realize this is your chair, but as you can see, I could really use it for a little bit," I said to him.
 
"Niet!" He pulled again, and more Ukrainian words followed.
 
My legs were about to give out. I was emotionally spent. Sweat now dripped from my forehead and soaking my bangs.
 
"I need this chair," I begged.
 
"Niet!"
 
I was going to cry—to break down in the middle of the airport and sob uncontrollably. I could feel it coming, and I had to fight it.
 
"Listen to me!" I yelled so loud, people were now looking our direction. "I am taking this chair, and I am sitting on it. See this child I have here? She is disabled, and I am about to pass out, so let go of this chair right now because I am going to sit on it!"
 
The man let go, rolled his eyes at me and made a mocking gesture of surrender. As I turned toward the crowd, dragging my suitcase and the chair, people stared. I was the loud and crazy American throwing a scene. I didn't care.
 
I sat on my chair, as close to the service window as I could get it. I was shaking, and my lip trembled.
 
Okay, Lord, I prayed. I am about to break down here. I cannot do this, I cannot do this anymore. I have nothing to give. I am completely empty. I need You to step in and send me an angel. I need to know You have not abandoned me.
 
I could feel tears running down my cheeks as I looked up. People stared. They whispered and pointed. One woman stared so intently, I mumbled at her, "Please don't stare at me."
 
"Can you re-pit plis?" she asked.
 
"Never mind." I turned away from her, wiping a tear with the back of my hand. I felt her hand on my shoulder.
 
"Plis, re-pit. What you sai?" she asked.
 
I stared at the woman.
 
"I help you," she encouraged. "I no gud English, but I help you."
 
"Don't worry, I'm okay," I said.
 
We looked at each other in awkward silence. It would have been natural for her to turn away from me. Instead, she kept looking at me. Finally, she pointed at Nina. "Tis your children?"
 
"Yes."
 
"How old?"
 
"She is almost 4."

 
"What her name?"
 
"Nina."
 
"Nina! Beautiful name—Ukrainian! My name Svitlana."
 
"Hello, Svitlana. I'm Ellen," I said.
 
"Why you carry her like tis?" She asked pointing at my makeshift sling.
 
"She cannot walk. She has cerebral palsy."
 
"Ah!" Svitlana looked at me with understanding, then gently patted Nina's head. "You pretty girl. Nice girl."
 
"She doesn't understand you," I said
 
"Oh," the woman said. She smiled gently at Nina and patted her head once more. I realized she had understood my statement to mean Nina had a mental delay.
 
"She only speaks Ukrainian, and I believe some Russian too," I added.
 
Svitlana looked at me, puzzled. "Tis not your children?"
 
"Yes. But I just adopted her."
 
"You adopt her? Tis child? Wif paralysis cerebral?"
 
"Yes."
 
Svitlana looked directly into my eyes. She gently nodded and stood tall, a hand placed on my shoulder once more. Because of my previous scene, people around us had been paying close attention to our exchange of words, so when Svitlana cleared her throat and began to speak to the people around us, they were listening. I knew she was speaking about me.
 
A man with a deep voice yelled out at me, "Tenk you." A young woman, her English crisp and lacking the strong Russian accent, approached us and offered help. Svitlana used the opportunity to have someone translate for her: "Thank you. This woman says you have taken one of our children despite her disability. We hide them in institutions. We do not take care of them. We are ashamed. But you have saved one of our own and loved them in a way we never could. Thank you."
 
A person next to the service window called to me. "Plis, plis, you come. You be first."
 
The crowd nodded in agreement and moved to the side to let me through. I slowly rose from my chair. Svitlana quickly grabbed my suitcase. "I help you," she said, nodding toward the service window.
 
Svitlana stayed by my side for two days. She fed Nina, she changed her diapers, she sang lullabies and she rocked her to sleep.
 
Once in Frankfurt, it was time to say goodbye to Svitlana. I clung to her in a tight embrace as we both cried into each other's arms.
 
"I know you will disappear as soon as I let go," I said to my new friend.

 
"Why dis-pir?"
 
"When I was sitting on that chair and you spoke to me, I had just prayed and asked God to send me an angel, and He sent you to me."
 
"I no angel, Ellen."
 
"Yes, yes, you are, my sweet friend. Yes, you are."
 

Adapted from Ellen Stumbo's blog at www.ellenstumbo.com. Ellen is a pastor's wife and she writes about finding beauty in brokenness with gritty honesty and openness. She is passionate about sharing the real—sometimes beautiful and sometimes ugly—aspects of faith, parenting, special needs, and adoption. She has been published in Focus on the Family, LifeWay, MomSense, Not Alone, and Mamapedia among others.

Original Page: http://www.charismamag.com/life/women/18182-how-god-sent-a-divine-airport-connection


From A to Z: Tips on How a Guy Should Treat a Girl


Let's set the record straight from the get-go. This is not an exhaustive list. Space would not allow for the other 500 or more TIPS that exist out there in "How to Treat a Girl Land." Further, be sure as you read that you remember this list is aimed at teenage guys.

Young men, listed below are varieties of thoughts on how to treat a girl. Most of us think this beautiful gift God gave to the guy called "Girl" is the greatest thing since sliced bread. But, first things first, because she is not a "thing." She is a person to be cherished and cared for and treated with respect.

After a few years of learning and still doing so today, please note my sage advice. It may sound old-fashioned but how about a little A to Z?

A. When walking on the street — Walk on the street side.

B. When you are with two girls — Never sandwich yourself between the two of them whether walking or sitting. If you position yourself on one side you can talk to one or both. If not, you have to turn away from one to talk to another. That ticks them off. Then if the two girls happen to be big buddies they will try to talk around you if you are in the middle. In that case, you feel like a tennis ball going back and forth.

C. When to offer your arm — Men rarely offer their arm to a female in the daytime unless the she is elderly. At night, however, if she is wearing heels or is going down stairs or a slope, it is advisable to offer your arm. Hopefully she will be smart enough to take it rather than risk stumbling.

D. How not to offer your arm — Don't grab a girl by the arm or the elbow and shove her along. You lose brownie points doing this.

E. Leading through a crowd — It is okay to take a girl's hand and precede her through a crowd to make a way for her.

F. Guy or girl first — In most circumstances, indoors or out, when a couple walks together, the girl precedes the guy. However, if outside and over rough ground, he goes first and offers his hand if she needs assistance.

G. Car doors — The guy steps ahead of the girl to open a car door for her when she enters. He gets out first and holds the door for her when they arrive, unless she does not want to wait. He stands behind the car door when opening the door so as to not gawk at her legs as they swing out. In addition, he should keep his eyes up so that she knows she is able to get out of the car without you looking down her shirt or up her dress. I know the temptation but pay attention to this guide and not up the legs and down the dress or shirt.

H. Stairs up and down — The guy precedes the girl when going down the stairs or slope and follows her when going up the stairs or slope.

I. Your first kiss, part 1 — Easy does it! When a guy kisses a girl for the fist time, the contact of the two pairs of lips should be sweet and gentle. A guy who makes a lunge at a girl for a fast, hard good-bye kiss, as if grabbing a punching bag in the gym, is certainly on the wrong track.

J. Your first kiss, part 2 — Look where you are going. Close your eyes right before you make contact. There are not many things worse than aiming for the lips and hitting the left nostril.

K. Your first kiss, part 3 — Keep your tongue in your mouth!

L. Going through doors — A guy should always stand aside and allow a girl to pass through an open door ahead of him. When approaching a closed, heavy door, however, it is far more practical if you push the door open, go through and hold the door while the girl follows. If the door opens toward them, he pulls it open and allows her to go through first.

M. Revolving doors — A girl steps through a revolving door first if the door is already moving. If the revolving door is not moving, the guy goes first, getting the door started and allowing the girl to follow. By the way, this is not the time for the power-rush through the doors like you did as a 10-year old. Moving doors slamming on a girl's heels don't make for a happy girl.

N. Seating in public — A guy should offer his seat to a girl. As an extra tip, a younger man should always offer his seat to an elderly man or woman as well.

O. Elevator etiquette — A guy lets a girl off an elevator first unless he is near the door and the elevator is crowded. In that case, he gets off first and holds the door for the others.

P. Umbrellas — A guy should hold the umbrella when walking together with a girl in the rain. The exception would be if the girl is considerably shorter than the guy. In this case, be smart and find two umbrellas.

Q. Displaying public affection — Don't do it! Keep your lips, your hands, your body, and your hormones out of public scrutiny. Then, as a young man of God, remember those lips, hands, body, and hormones are under God's scrutiny in private.

R. What not to touch — Never touch a girl on the breast, the behind, or between the legs. Never touch any other place on her body that arouses her sexually or moves that direction. That is why God made the marriage bed. You will enjoy it more if you wait until then. I know your body says, "Now." Make sure your brain and your spirit say, "Then."

S. Seating a girl— A guy should approach the chair at a table where he would like for the girl to sit and pull the chair out for her, leaving her adequate room to move to the table. Then he should merely slide the chair to her as she helps herself to her seat. This is not the time to do a back-of-the-knee slam, again like the 10-year old that you used to be. Taking her down fast will not score points. Be gentle.

T. Listening — A guy should remember that girls think like girls and not like guys. Guys tend to be more logical in their thought patterns. Girls tend to be more feeling-oriented. Neither approach is right or wrong, good or bad. They are just different. So don't expect her to display male logic. It can happen, but in general it's not going to!

U. When a girl says, "Nothing's wrong" — Something's wrong and it is your job to find out what it is.

V. Dating matters:

  1. Make plans for the date far enough in advance that both people can clear the day on their schedules. It is a compliment to the girl for the guy to think enough of her to provide her opportunity to arrange to be available.
  2. Be on time.
  3. Don't cancel the date without a very good reason.
  4. Confirm all arrangements by telephone on the morning of the date.
  5. Dress with care. If you are not sure whether you are over- or under-dressing, ask the girl what she is wearing.
  6. Consider the other person when making plans for a date. More than one guy has wondered why his date is bored out of her mind sitting through a four-hour hockey game about which she didn't give a rip. Think, guys, think!
  7. Do not forget your manners, eating and otherwise.
  8. Don't forget to say "Please" and "Thank you." Sometimes writing "Thank you" note is in order as well.

W. She-won't-want-to-go-out-with-me syndrome — Sometimes men are scared to ask a girl out. If this happens to you, then tell yourself how wonderful you are. Your mother believes it! Maybe you are a good talker. Maybe you can plan great dates. Or maybe you are a great listener. Girls love men who listen. There are not many of them out there. If you cannot think of any of your strengths, talk to the Designer a.k.a. God. He put you together. He definitely knows your strong suits and He knows what she likes.

X. Go easy on "I" and go heavy on "you" — A guy who masters the ability to talk about the girl rather than self wins.

Y. Humor — Know your strengths and limitations here. The guy who doesn't loses.

Z. Compliments — A guy should seek to sincerely say good things about a girl. Most people like to hear good things about themselves and others.

Forget what TV and movies tell you about being a guy. Trust me, the girls are not impressed with your ability to demonstrate your levels of testosterone.

If you follow these guidelines, you will demonstrate to that beautiful young lady in your life your phenomenal skill at being just the kind of guy she is looking for! I know you are thinking it so I will say it … Lucky her!

Richard Hardy is the Founder and President of The Hardy Group, an Executive Consulting firm for senior pastors of churches. Everything but preaching is his theme. His service as Administrative Pastor at two mega churches and as Vice President at a flagship denominational Bible college makes him a resource your church will want to retain. For more information, visit www.thehardygroup.org.

For the original article, visit men.ag.org.


Original Page: http://www.charismamag.com/life/men/20270-from-a-to-z-tips-on-how-a-guy-should-treat-a-girl


When Man-Made Traditions in the Church Keep People Out


Growing up in a church that had many written and unwritten rules was not a positive experience. To me, each rule presented a challenge: Either figure out a way around it or live without it.

I could not relate to a faith experience that was dictated by a group of male rule-makers and the rules they established. Some of the rules were understandable—such as not drinking or smoking. As an adolescent, I had no business doing either.

The problem came when the rules became more important than relationships. Our family took rule-following to the extreme, and it affected all our relationships.

My brothers and I could not even drink a soft drink out of a can for fear someone would see one of us and think we were drinking beer. Actually, we were drinking beer when Dad wasn't looking. But seeing us drink out of a glass container made my father feel better.

As I said, this was one of those rules that made sense for an adolescent to follow. But rules that focus on a minor area of life can come to take precedence over the greater priorities of building character and connecting relationally. Why? Rather than creating a heart that is good, following a rule is something that makes the church and the family look good.

Majoring on Minors

Focusing more on minor rules than on the major issues of life was not the only problem I discovered when I was young. There were some unwritten rules that were just plain wrong.

One of the unwritten rules of our church was that we catered to white people, especially white Christians. Although the leadership would never ask a person of color to leave, they would not go out of their way to show proper respect or make it comfortable for him or her either.

Our church was the largest and closest one to an area with a high concentration of African-Americans, but our church bus program never ran through those black neighborhoods. Nowhere would you find the "no blacks" rule in print, but it was written on the hearts of the membership and its leaders, and it was wrong.

There are other rules that stand in the way of wonderful people finding a relationship with our Lord. None is more destructive than a "we versus they" attitude leveled at any group.

Jesus reflected a "me for them" attitude. Whether He was talking with a woman caught in adultery or a crooked little tax collector up a tree, He was a gatherer of broken people, and He was committed to breaking the rules. In fact, Jesus was so "pro-sinner" that he was willing to upset the religious leaders of the day to reach those who were in need of His mercy. When I discovered what a rebel He was, I could finally relate to the One who had died to save me.

When Jesus walked the earth, He valued relationships over rules. He liberally broke the Jewish laws by healing on the Sabbath, sharing food with a known sinner and doing the wrong thing (according to the rules made by pompous men of the law) with the wrong people.

Jesus acted so unpredictably, so radically, so unexpectedly that His whole life was a challenge to the rule-makers and rule-keepers of His day. Their attitude was that if the God of the universe was not going to keep the rules of man, then God would have to be killed.

Human systems and rituals had induced many to lose their first love as they focused on their own power rather than on the power of God. The religious authorities burdened people with heavy loads of "works" and offered no assistance to those they so heavily weighted. By the time they had established their self-made religion, people viewed God as a binder of hearts, a burdener of spirits, a vindictive, angry, distant and disinterested God who did not involve Himself with everyday people.

Jesus came to earth to change all that. As He lived out His life, His daily brushes with real people—real sinners—painted a different picture of a God who cared, who transformed and who loved more than anyone could ever imagine.

Relationships Over Rules 

The New Testament displays Christ's respect for people and His disregard for those who do not care about them. To Him, it was better to heal a man on the Sabbath than to wait for Monday to come so as not to cause a stir.

The Pharisees, because of their religious rules, could not get excited about a healing that would take place on the Sabbath (Mark 3:1-6). They had no intention of celebrating a miracle that God had to break a man-made rule to accomplish.

A Samaritan woman at a well and an adulteress caught in the act were two more examples of Christ's respect for all kinds of people, even the wrong kinds of people. From His life, I came to conclude that a healthy faith is respectful of others.

In addition to Christ's example, we have the direct pronouncement of this tenet in Philippians 2:3: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself" (NIV). As simple as this verse is to understand, it has been quite difficult to fully believe and live out.


But when you have more of Jesus and less of your religion, respect for others is always the outcome. Paul's first letter to Timothy carries this theme. Respect bubbles up from Paul's heart for seniors, older men, older women, younger men, younger women, singles, widows, children and the needy—groups that historically have not always known or experienced respect (1 Tim. 5:1-3).

Christ made it clear that respect for others is a priority for the Christian. When asked about the greatest commandment, Jesus stated, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" (Mark 12:30). Then He gave us the second most important rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself" (v. 31).

Christ's message was emphatic: If a rule doesn't jive with one of these two commandments, then hang the rule. Those who love rules more than they love people will never understand the true message of Christ.

Modern-day legalists act just like the Pharisees in the days of Christ. They are so caught up in the traditions and rigid rules of their own kingdoms they fail to see that mercy and grace are just as important as discipline and sacrifice (Hos. 6:6).

Love, not legalism, must reign. Then when a Spirit-filled connection is formed, even between people with different traditions or theologies, respect flows from the heart and changes attitudes and behaviors.

The Witness of the Past 

Historical accounts prove that the spreading of the gospel brought new respect for those who previously were not respected. Wherever the gospel of Jesus Christ has taken root in a society and the Word of God has been taught and honored, respect for all men and women has grown along with it.

In Hawaii, it was once taboo for a woman to eat with a man. Women were expected to prepare and serve the meals and wait for the men to finish. Whatever was left was all that a woman was allowed to eat.

The place of women in Hawaiian society was lower than that of many pets. However, it all changed when the gospel came to the islands and Christ-centered men began to see women in a new way.

A new attitude of respect resulted in women being treated as though women and men are equally valuable to God and society. Instead of being used to put women down or keep them down, the applied truth of Scripture liberated women from religious rules made up by men solely for the purposes of men.

Oh, that this same gospel would be spread so that all exploitation of any human could be eradicated from the earth! Oh, that this same gospel would infect all Christians with respect for and honor toward others!

Liberated to Love 

Considering its legalistic stance, I thought the church I grew up in would hold on to its old ways of thinking until the church took its last offering. But I was surprised to discover that the men could grow and change.

When my homosexual brother came back home with AIDS, I saw this formerly separatist church show love beyond expectation. My brother's illness came at a time when the houses of people with AIDS were being burned and men who professed Christ held up signs, "God Hates Fags." But none of that mattered to the deacons of our church.

They told my father that they had always loved our family, including my brother, and would continue to do so through the worst of this ordeal. They gathered together, laid hands on my brother and prayed for his healing.

Medical bills that were not covered by insurance were never a burden to my parents. Church leaders paid all the bills. Every day, until Jerry died in the bed of his childhood, someone was there to minister to him and the rest of the family.

At my brother's funeral, the church was packed with those who cared more about loving than judging, and it was that loving that had brought him back to Christ. I will see my brother in heaven because they chose to respect him rather than reject him.

Sadly, the liberation to love and respect others has not overtaken many Christians. I often wonder if people ever read the New Testament to see the way Jesus reached out to the "least of these" and touched and changed their lives.

Jesus had a way of walking right into the midst of the rejected and the untouchables and drawing them to Him. He still does it today when we give first place to the law of love and allow His truth to pour out from our hearts and our hands. When we commit ourselves to having more Jesus and less of our ruthless religion, we feel His love and respectfully share it with those who are of no less importance to Him than we are.

Read a companion devotiona..


Stephen Arterburn is the founder of the Women of Faith conferences and New Life Ministries. This article is based on his book, More Jesus, Less Religion, from WaterBrook Press.


Original Page: http://www.charismamag.com/life/women/9531-when-man-made-traditions-in-the-church-keep-people-out


Friday, April 25

The Key to a Close-Knit Family

I've never met anyone who doesn't want a strong, close-knit family. The question is: How do we move from wanting one to having one?

Many actions are needed to move from wanting a close-knit family to having a close-knit family. And there is one key action you can take toward achieving that goal.

Growing up, my family and I explored the country by taking many road trips together. During our travels in the 1960s and 1970s, there was one billboard I saw over and over again. The slogan on it was part of one of the most successful billboard campaigns our country has ever seen. The billboard read:

"The family that prays together, stays together."

A number of studies have revealed that there is, in fact, some truth to this timeless slogan. Specifically, research has shown that the key to closeness and a stronger family relies on praying, attending church and worshiping together.

Here is some of the most interesting data I found regarding the correlation between close-knit families and worshiping together:

  • Being involved regularly in a church makes men more engaged as fathers and husbands.
  • The regular presence or absence of a couple at church predicts whether their marriage will be stable or shaky.
  • Teenagers who are raised in religious homes are more likely to admire their dad, enjoy time with their dad and view their dad as being helpful with things that are important to them.

If you are having trouble getting your teen to worship with you, check out my post "Encouraging Your Teens to Worship." What better time to start than now?

If you do attend church, what are some ways it has brought your family closer together?  Your comments below would be appreciated. 

Mark Merrill is the president of Family First. For the original article, visit markmerril.com.


Original Page: http://www.charismamag.com/life/men/20199-the-key-to-a-close-knit-family

How Women Can Make Church a Safe Place for Men

When we dress provocatively, we dishonor God and display a lack of regard for His holiness. We can also become a distraction for our brothers in Christ.

I'd been traveling all weekend, and my flight from California to the East Coast got in at midnight. All I wanted to do was go home, drop my suitcases and hit the sack.

But the story my husband had waiting for me made me drop my jaw and want to hit—well, not the sack!

"She was just visiting our church service this morning," he began haltingly.

He didn't notice her at first, he said. But then came "greeting time."

"Bob, I'd like you to meet John's cousin," a friend said as he introduced her.

That's when my husband's mind began to whirl. He'd heard about her. She was the one with the perfect—well, let's just say she qualified to be a fitting model for Victoria's Secret. You figure out what was perfect!

Through the rest of the service he was restless. Intrigued. Annoyed.

He wasn't the only one; I asked.

Many of our friends were introduced to her that day, and like us, they had heard about her unique career. I asked all the men the same question: "What did she look like?"

The funny thing is, none of them could quite remember her face. But they all remembered her skin-tight leather pants with the lace-up fly.

Please understand that my husband, Bob, is a godly man in full-time Christian ministry. Like most men, though, he is subject to visual temptation.

Christian psychologist Mark Laaser estimates that 30 percent of Christian pastors and leaders struggle with pornography. Among Christian men in general, more than 60 percent are estimated to struggle with continual sexual compulsions of some type.

Those are scary numbers. I wouldn't share them with you if they hadn't been substantiated repeatedly.

My husband's ministry involves helping men of all ages live lives of mental purity—a battle he himself wages daily. Bob gets into the faces of other men and asks them to name the specific distractions they need to remove from their lives in order to live in sexual integrity.

You'd expect them to name temptations such as the Internet, R-rated movies, magazine covers, even the giant Victoria's Secret display ads in the mall. But sadly, they often point to a surprisingly different pit—and they fall into it every Sunday.

"I'm struggling with the way women dress in church," they groan. They are specific in adding those two words—in church—because the location is what makes them feel so vulnerable.

After all, isn't church supposed to be a place where they can go to be free from temptation? What's a guy to do when the woman in his Sunday school class keeps showing up in a tight shirt and miniskirt, announcing it was a little cold in the parking lot?

I suppose he could sit on the front row every week. But come on, sisters! It's time we accept some responsibility for this predicament.

Many of us are sinning where the men in our churches are concerned—and in the process, we're sinning against God.

As Christian women, our greatest desire should be to please God in everything we do. First Peter 3:3 reminds us, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment. ... Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight" (NIV).

But some of us are getting up on Sunday mornings and adorning ourselves in ways that aren't pleasing to God. The outfits we choose are intended to cause all eyes—especially men's eyes—to be on us.

For the sake of our brothers in Christ, not to mention the health of our personal relationships with God, we need to do four things:

1. We need to understand the power of certain kinds of visual images. Have you heard of the Gestalt theory? It's a visual design theory that teaches designers to control the attention of their viewers by forcing the viewers to mentally complete a visual image.

According to the theory, the challenge of completing an image that is incomplete intrigues the human brain. Our minds will always pause to finish an unfinished picture.


Try it yourself by checking out this trio of circles. What else do you see?

You think you see a triangle, don't you? That's because a triangle is the most common image that your brain can come up with to complete this picture.

Now let's apply the Gestalt theory to the issue at hand. What happens when a man sees a woman walk by wearing a low-cut blouse or a long, tight skirt with a slit all the way up the sides? He pauses—maybe even does a double take—because he sees something in part, and his brain wants to complete the picture.

He can't help it. It's a simple fact of visual science!

2. We need to understand the special weakness of men for a woman's beauty. The power of the Gestalt principle is multiplied by the fact that men have a God-given craving for a woman's beauty. Proverbs 5:18-19 says, "Rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always. May you be ever intoxicated by her sex."

I italicized two of the last four words in that verse because I changed them to better reflect the actual Hebrew meaning of the passage. The God of the universe looks down at woman, created to be a physical masterpiece, and man, created to enjoy the view, and actually encourages man to be fully intoxicated by her sexuality. Wow!

When a guy gets "intoxicated," his body can't help but react. Physiologically, many of our bodies' responses are activated by something called the autonomic nervous system (ANS). This system is controlled not by the will but by the environment.

For example, have you ever lost one of your small children at the mall, if only for a moment? Do you remember the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach? The rapid pulse?

Your body reacted automatically to the situation. You cannot control such reactions by choice. That's how the ANS works—it forces the body to respond to the environment.

Sexual arousal operates the same way. Certain things in the environment—what we see, what we hear, what we smell—work together to tell the brain that the time is right for sexual response. The ANS takes over, and the brain reacts by sending specific chemicals through the body.

In a man this reaction is particularly strong since God created him to be visually stimulated. If he sees a woman walk by wearing revealing clothing, his pulse may increase; his body temperature may rise. Other changes may take place as well.

Of course, all this is beautiful and even celebrated by almighty God when the woman responsible for the arousal is the man's wife. But too often that's not the case.

Our culture constantly bombards us with sexual content in movies, magazines, advertisements and more. It's enough to overwhelm even the most godly man.

And though he can choose how to act upon this arousal, he frequently cannot control that it occurs. The environment controls it.

Exposing a man to continual visual stimulation is like hanging a noose around the neck of his spiritual life! Yet many Christian women contribute to the hanging Sunday after Sunday.

3. We need to call immodesty what it really is. The Bible is emphatic: We must never do anything to cause a brother or sister in Christ to stumble (see 1 Cor. 10:32). That's an uncomfortable challenge for those of us who've been lulled into thinking, "What's the big deal? It's just fashion!"

We may squirm even more when we read Ephesians 5:3: "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."

Get that? Not a hint of sexual sin! But aren't we hinting at sin when we wear a low-cut blouse, a tight T-shirt or a super-short skirt?

According to its Hebrew and Greek definitions, sin means missing God's intended purpose for our lives. So what is God's purpose when it comes to our sexuality? Proverbs 5:18-19 says that it's to intoxicate one man with our beauty.

We are no doubt quite capable of getting many stares. But God says that the unique characteristics of our sensual beauty are to be treasured secrets—secrets kept for one man. When we dress immodestly, creating arousal in many men, we miss the purpose of the carefully crafted masterpiece that is our body.

Is it just a matter of fashion? No. Immodesty is sin.


4. We need to develop a righteous response to the crisis immodesty has created in the church. As you read this, maybe you feel a twinge of guilt. I know I felt one as I worked recently on a new book for teenage girls on the subject of modesty. Perhaps you need to clean a few things out of your closet, as I did.

Maybe you see a reason for concern in your church. Don't be afraid to ask a women's Bible study leader or perhaps even your pastor to address the issue. God's call for purity in the lives of His people is worthy of the tremendous effort it will take to break through the strongholds of denial in this area of sin.

If you're married, be ready to help your husband walk through a visually tempting world. When I came home to the news that a Victoria's Secret model had unexpectedly visited my husband's mind, I didn't condemn him or react with jealousy or hurt. Rather, I thanked him for sharing his struggle with me.

We talked about it until 2 in the morning. As Bob opened his heart, I was able to erase the shame that had been caused by this woman's indiscretion. We agreed to work together to make sure visual temptation is treated with a zero-tolerance policy in our home.

Whether you are married or not, it's important to set a good example. Make certain the clothes you pull out of your closet on Sunday morning—and every day of the week—are a statement of your commitment to live a godly life.

Read a companion devotional.


Dannah Gresh is the author of And the Bride Wore White: Seven Secrets To Sexual Purity and Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty (Moody Press). Contact her ministry online at www.purefreedom.org.


Original Page: http://www.charismamag.com/life/women/9703-how-women-can-make-church-a-safe-place-for-men


Work Your Way Down to Effective Leadership

For productive leaders, "let go and let God" usually means let others do their part. Surround yourself with people who are more capable of getting the job done than you are. God has designed His work to be a group effort, so put the work in the hands of those He's given you.

Are you so busy trying to do it all yourself that you're not equipping others to do their part? Make it a point to re-think your approach and welcome help from people God wants to have minister alongside you.

The end goal of every ministry should be to meet needs within the scope of the ministry. You may be the best one to get it all done but probably not. Chances are, God wants to raise up saints whose gifts are specifically designed for the necessary service.

Do you mind being the coach rather than the star? Do some soul-searching to make sure your ministry motives are pleasing to God.

Biblically, the pastor and pastoral staff are not the stars of the team. They're the coaches. Their job is to get the people of the church off the bench and onto the field, whether in ministries within the church, in the community, or doing the work of the Lord in the workplace.

How well are you doing at working yourself down and others up? You may need to adjust your ministry strategies so you can become downwardly mobile.

In Mark 10:45 Jesus says, "I came not to be served, but to serve." He teaches that our goal as leaders should be to keep working our way down until we are supporting everyone else. So the top becomes the bottom, and we become the most supportive people in the equation.

The post Work Your Way Down to Effective Leadership appeared first on Dr. George O. Wood.


Original Page: http://georgeowood.com/work-your-way-down-to-effective-leadership/


Thursday, April 24

WHAT? The 2nd Coming of Jesus May Never Happen ––Vatican


Is this another conjecture or it actually emanated from the Vatican headed by Pope Francis? Read:

Spokesperson for the Vatican officially announced days ago that the second coming of Jesus, the only son of the God, may not happen now after all, but urged followers to still continue with their faith, regardless.

Here is the shocker: Cardinal Giorgio Salvadore told WWN that this year's 1,981st anniversary is to be the Vatican's last in regards to waiting for the Lord to return to Earth.
"We just feel Jesus is not coming back by the looks of it. It's been ages like. He's probably flat out doing other really good things for people somewhere else."
Another shocker: The Vatican defended the fact that Jesus' promise of coming soon has not been fulfilled as they claimed that "he was probably drinking wine" at the time when he made the comments. What?

"Having the ability to turn water into wine had its ups and its downs," added Cardinal Salvadore.

The Catholic church said it will now focus attentions on rebuilding its reputation around the world, but will keep an optimistic mind for the saviour's second coming.
Nearly two thousand years ago, Jesus promised his disciples that he would come again in John 14:1-3:
"There are many homes up where my Father lives, and I am going to prepare them for your coming. When everything is ready, then I will come and get you, so that you can always be with Me where I am. If this weren't so, I would tell you plainly."

Original Page: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/OluFamousBlog/~3/XsnSkYWwDcc/what-2nd-coming-of-jesus-may-never.html


Technology and the Gospel

At the end of 1998 I traveled with a small group of people into a country closed to the Gospel. We each brought a few paperback Bibles and we also brought the Bible on audio cassette. We knew that in one area we would traveling to that bringing a printed Bible wouldn't be enough because many couldn't read.  Not only that but they didn't have access to current technology (at the time CD's were current technology!) which is why we brought audio cassettes.

15 years later and it's now estimated that more people have access to a smartphone than decent sanitation. What does this mean for missionaries and the advancement of the Gospel? It means that we live in a time where the Gospel can be transmitted like never before!

As the picture above demonstrates, we can now store over 1,600 Bibles on a Micro SD card that is smaller than a penny. If you've ever picked up a box of books, you know how significant the idea of being able to store an entire library's worth of books on a memory card is. That one cassette box I hid in the bottom of my bag years ago could hold enough Micro SD cards to resource thousands of pastors.

We live in a unique time and it will be exciting to see how technology continues to be utilized in the spread of the Gospel!

And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.
Matthew 24:14


Original Page: http://blog.olivetree.com/2014/04/23/technology-and-the-gospel/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=technology-and-the-gospel


7 Reasons Why Self-Pity Is a Sin

Yesterday morning, I had a good reason to feel sorry for myself. I woke up at 1:30 a.m. in a quiet, comfortable hotel room and could not go back to sleep. I'm used to insomnia as a nightly occurrence, but when 4:00 and then 5:00 rolled around (the alarm set for 6:00), tears of self-pity started to rise. I had a five-hour drive ahead of me, and it seemed unfair that I would have to face that on three hours of sleep.

Unfortunately, I had been listening all day to John Piper's audio book Brothers, We Are Not Professionals, and he listed the particular sins he struggles with. Self-pity was one of them.

Is self-pity a sin? I had never considered this until Piper's words and my lack of sleep collided. After much thought (and I had plenty of time to think about it in the middle of the night—don't you feel sorry for me?), I begrudgingly have to agree.

7 Reasons Why I Think Self-Pity Is a Sin

  • Self-pity is a refusal to accept a trial as a test of faith, thus inhibiting my own growth toward maturity and completion in Christ. ("Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete" [James 1:2-4, NIV].)
  • Self-pity demands that I am entitled to a certain quality of life that has not been promised to me in Scripture. (Jesus says, "In this world you will have trouble" [John 16:33].)
  • Self-pity dilutes my compassion for others, as I elevate my own suffering to a place of prominence. ("Be compassionate" [1 Pet. 3:8].)
  • Self-pity is married to grumbling and complaining. ("Do everything without grumbling or arguing" [Phil. 2:14].)
  • Self-pity ousts gratitude. ("Be thankful" [Col. 3:15].)
  • Self-pity fills my time with useless whining and moaning instead of prayers for help and rescue from the almighty God. ("Call upon me in the day of trouble" [Ps. 50:15].)
  • Self-pity will only accept joy that comes from reversal of circumstances instead of joy that comes from the Lord. ("Rejoice in the Lord always" [Phil. 4:4].)

So, I accepted the sleepless night as a trial from the Lord and decided I would rejoice in the opportunity to trust Him for my day of travel. I made the trip safely and wide awake (minus one 20-minute snooze at a truck stop). I even came home with enough energy to unpack, do two loads of laundry, and write this blog post.

What do you think—life without self-pity?


Original Page: http://www.charismamag.com/life/women/20235-7-reasons-why-self-pity-is-a-sin

Monday, April 21

10 Ways To Lose Great Church Staff Members

by Jay Mitchell, Executive Search Consultant, Vanderbloemen Search Group

In our work as search consultants at Vanderbloemen Search Group, much of the focus of our job is identifying people who have the potential to be great long-term team members for our clients. Hiring great people is a great first step, but it's just the beginning.

Once you have a great team member who is producing excellent work and serving effectively, the next – and more important – challenge will be retaining them for the long haul. In interviews, we always ask our candidates to talk about why they are leaving their current position or why they left a previous job. In many cases, their reasons for leaving are simply about readiness to take on a new and expanded role or a sense of calling to a new ministry. These are the good stories!

However, sometimes we hear about toxic staff environments, unhealthy leadership cultures, and lack of intentionality in support and development of the team and individual that have led a highly gifted leader to look for a healthier place to serve. The stories are remarkably consistent and instructive.

So if you want to lose a great staff member, here are some ways to do it:

  1. Don't give them a voice in strategic direction. Talented people don't need to have the final say on the direction of ministry, but they do need to be heard and have their ideas taken seriously. If you want to lose a great staff member, marginalize their opportunity to speak into your vision and direction.
  2. Don't give them freedom to fail boldly. Great leaders aren't afraid to attempt something bold to reach people for Jesus. Bold actions will sometimes fail, and the best leaders will learn more from that failure than they would have if they never tried. If your team members are afraid of failing because your culture doesn't allow for it, they won't take the risks necessary to accomplish a big vision.
  3. Don't create a safe place to talk about difficult things. The best teams embrace healthy conflict and provide a safe place to disagree and debate ministry initiatives or even relational conflicts. Healthy conflict can take place behind closed doors, not dissolve into personal attacks, and remain confidential. Once conflict gets resolved, the team agrees to support the decision or resolution as one. If you want to lose a team member, take the conflict public or don't allow anyone to disagree with you.
  4. Micromanage them. The best teams are filled with people who know what is expected of them in terms of results and goals and are given freedom to accomplish those goals without having someone checking up on them or looking over their shoulders. Having to account for every moment of time, or explain every ministry decision will suck the life out of talented people.
  5. Talk about them behind their back. Nothing will kill a team faster than hearing that their pastor, supervisor, or elder board is talking about staff members behind their backs. I'm not talking about the normal, healthy evaluations that take place as part of the process of building a ministry, but the unhealthy gossip or criticism of a team member to other staff or congregation members. If there is an issue that needs to be addressed, do it immediately and face to face, with a plan to resolve the situation or concern in a healthy, God-honoring, and productive way.

Click here to download the rest of this article and share it with your team.

__________________________________________

This is a sponsored post from Vanderbloemen Search Group, one of our Strategic Partners at TonyMorganLive.com.

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Vital Signs: 3 Bad Tests Pastors Use to Measure Ministry


How do most churches measure the health of their ministry? Very few leaders have an accurate method. Most rely on an unhealthy test to determine whether or not they are leading well. Have you ever used any of these three tests?

1. The Full Room Test

Ever looked around on Sunday morning to see how many people showed up? Many pastors are asking, "How full was the room?" While I join you in hoping that people attend, your church's attendance barely provides a glimpse of its true health.

2. The Gut Check Test

Many pastors base their perception of the church on the way they feel at any moment. Unfortunately, our feelings are affected by whatever we most recently encountered. An accurate measure of church health requires something more consistent.

3. The Bank Account Test

Too often, it takes a financial struggle for a church to realize that it is unhealthy. As long as the bills are paid, everything seems fine. But once the bank account starts running low, leaders suddenly scurry to fix issues. Unfortunately, The Bank Account Test reveals problems after it is too late to solve them.

So how can you get an accurate measure of your church's health? My latest eBook, Vital Signs: Meaningful Metrics That Keep a Pulse on Church Health, offers an objective tool to heighten your perspective. With 12 key benchmarks built on nationwide data, you can quickly get an objective outlook. These Vital Signs will help you see deeper into four key areas: attendance, involvement, finances, and facilities.

Are you ready to get a true measure of your church's health? Learn more about Vital Signs on Amazon.com

——————————–

Can't wait to measure the health of your church? We've created a worksheet to automatically calculate all 12 of your Vital Signs. You can access it for FREE right here! Then utilize the eBook to better understand your results!

Build Healthy Senior Leadership Teams!

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Sunday, April 13

6 Easy Ways to Eat Healthier

If you're trying to improve your diet, whether it's to lose weight or simply get healthier, you can be overwhelmed with information and advice—sometimes to the point that you give up before you even get started. But choosing a healthier diet doesn't have to be complicated.

Following six simple tips can get you on the right path without complicated and confusing rules:

1. Go vegetarian, at least part of the time. While you don't have to shun meat completely, your diet should focus on fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts and seeds. When you do eat meat, choose wild-caught fish and poultry and meat that's free of hormones and antibiotics. According to the American Dietetic Association, vegetarians have lower risks for cardiovascular disease, obesity, diabetes and several forms of cancer.

2. Count fingers. Read labels and lists of ingredients, and if a product has more ingredients than you have fingers, leave it sitting on the grocery shelf. It's been overprocessed and is low on nutrients. The fewer fingers needed, the better.

3. Test yourself. If a product includes ingredients you can't pronounce or spell, chances are it contains chemicals and additives that can be harmful—and may even be linked with cancer, allergies and other health problems.

4. Opt for organic. Organic growers use natural fertilizers instead of chemicals, natural compounds to kill weeds, pesticides from natural sources to control insects instead of dangerous chemicals, and organic feed instead of antibiotics and growth hormones. A study from Stanford University found that eating organic produce and meat lowers the levels of pesticides detected in consumers, and a Brazilian study found that organic tomatoes contained more vitamin C and plant phenols than conventionally grown tomatoes.

5. Color your meals. Chuck white foods (bread and rice) and replace with 100 percent whole-grain breads, cereals and brown rice. Make sure whole-grain products contain at least 2 grams of fiber per serving. Pick the brightest, most deeply colored fruits and vegetables. Richly colored purple (eggplant), red (cherries, cranberries) and blue (blueberries) fruits and vegetables are rich in anthocyanins—a powerful type of flavonoid.

6. Ditch sugary drinks. Most beverages are high in calories and contain artificial coloring and other questionable ingredients, and artificially sweetened drinks contain chemicals such as aspartame that some experts believe raise your risk for many health problems, including Alzheimer's disease, metabolic syndrome, cancer and cardiovascular disease. Instead, choose water. Tea and coffee are also good choices and contain many beneficial antioxidants. When buying fruit juice, be sure the label says "100 percent juice."

For the original article, visit newsmaxhealth.com.


Original Page: http://www.charismamag.com/life/health/20138-6-easy-ways-to-eat-healthier-nuts


Saturday, April 12

Just for the Money Just Doesn’t Work


At the church I came to pastor at Newport-Mesa, I inherited a preschool. Several years earlier, the church had founded the preschool as a way to make money. By enrolling a bunch of kids, it would be a financial lifeline for the church—not a witnessing outreach or any kind of community ministry, just a money-making scheme. The focus was so much on money that the preschool staff didn't even attend the church. They were simply hired to do the job.

Just for the Money Just Doesn't Work

The school proved to be anything but a moneymaker. Not only was it a zero as a ministry arm, it was less than zero for the church's finances. The preschool was costing a thousand dollars a month more than what the parents were paying in tuition. As a result, we had no money even to operate the church and were constantly falling farther behind.

It fell to me to close the preschool—not one of my more pleasant tasks. But out of that tough choice, I learned another guiding principle: In a church, it is wrong to establish a ministry just to make money. Every ministry must have a missional purpose. This has proven true again and again.

Serve God—use money when necessary.

God knows it takes money to run a ministry, so let Him find the right ways to provide it. Keep your focus on Kingdom purposes.

Sacrifice the Cash Cow

Even churches with successful schools run a risk of becoming dependent upon the school's money, and the income becomes the tail that wags the dog. The church can coast spiritually, because the cash cow feeds the church budget. The tragic consequence is that the congregation is no longer motivated to step out in faith, and the incentive toward sacrificial giving for missions or other ministries is lost. That cash cow can also supplement the pastor's salary, the pastor's wife's salary, the other staff. Eventually the business can feed into all operations of the church and create grave spiritual danger.

Churches must be careful to establish schools, day care centers, or other such ministries only for appropriate purposes:

• Is it evangelistic?
• Does it serve the cause of discipleship?
• Does it become a means of feeding people into the church?

The Lord never said, "I will establish the school, and upon this school I will build my church." He said He would establish the Church. A church is the primary instrument for fulfilling the Great Commission, both locally and around the world. While the Lord may call a church to establish a school, the church must believe the school is part of its mission. Making money is never the right reason for a church to initiate a project or auxiliary program.

Money flows for ministry, not for its own sake.

Churches can legitimately be superb conduits for channeling money into God's plans. Missions giving is perhaps the best example of that. The right perspective, though, is that money should result from putting Kingdom work first.

The post Just for the Money Just Doesn't Work appeared first on Dr. George O. Wood.


Original Page: http://georgeowood.com/just-for-the-money-just-doesnt-work/


Friday, April 11

I Thought I’d Be There By Now: Confessions Of A Leader Who Hasn’t Arrived Yet!


by Dale Sellers

I have a confession. . . I've always felt like a failure. And a bit embarrassed. There it is. I said it. I finally told you what I've felt about myself for years. I think this partly comes from always having had the rug pulled out from under me just before something incredible was about to happen. (There have been some big time "rug pullings" in my life!)

Don't misunderstand me. I've been faithfully married to my wonderful wife Gina for 31 years. We have three of the most amazing daughters you will ever meet. Our son-in-laws are awesome men. I led two music groups and traveled for 10 years doing over 1,100 concerts in 35 states. I served in numerous roles at a church of 1,200 members. I worked for a Christian radio station and was a Senior Pastor for 12 years at a church that grew from 25 to 250. I've done dozens of weddings, funerals and baby dedications. And I've mentored and counseled hundreds of people.

My family and friends have encouraged me to write books over the years. I guess they see something in me they think is worth sharing. However, my constant excuse for not writing has been rather simple, "Why would anyone want to read what I have to say? I'm not successful." In other words, I haven't built a mega-church by age 30. I don't speak at the big events that draw thousands. And I haven't even appeared on Christian television! I don't have 50,000 Twitter followers. And I haven't been able to tell everyone that my Facebook page is too full to accept any more friends.

You see, the problem I have is that I thought I would have arrived by now.

Most leaders of small ministries believe they will eventually have large ones. And I know that I'm not alone. For every mega-ministry there are thousands of not-so-mega ministries led by people with dreams and callings.

Maybe you're like me, living every day with unfulfilled dreams and a burning desire to make a difference on a larger scale. Let me share a few thoughts to help you "hold on" until you get there:

  1. Don't ever let go of your dream. I once asked a friend this question, "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?" His answer was, "I'd start a church." He did. . . His name is Perry Noble. . . You probably know the rest of the story. According to Habakkuk 2:3, "The vision is yet for an appointed time. . ." I don't know when your dream will come to light, but I do know it will never be seen if you give up!
  2. Be honest about your giftedness. This is a tough one. I've observed so many leaders over the years living in frustration because they were attempting to do something without the gifts to accomplish it. One of the biggest lies told to us as children is that we can be anything we want to be. That's just not true. Remember that if the horse you've been riding is dead, then it's time to dismount! Continuing to beat it will just wear you out! It's time to ride the stallion of your giftedness into the land of your potential.
  3. You don't control the timing. My wife made a really cool observation many years ago about God opening doors of opportunity. She noticed that promotion usually involves Him moving in other people's lives at the same time He's working in yours. Zechariah 4:10 reminds me "to not despise the day of small things (or beginnings.)" Remain faithful and focused while waiting for the dream to be fulfilled.
  4. Please stop comparing yourself to others. I know it's the American thing to do, but you've got to stop measuring yourself against the success of others. Comparison drains all of the life right out of you. In fact, if you continue down the comparison road you may find that you've created an idol out of ministry!
  5. Most importantly you need to enjoy the journey. I may have at times felt like I've failed at fulfilling my dream, but I've been successful at what matters most. I have a family I put before ministry that loves me very much. A friend of mine tweeted this simple thought that radically changed my approach to success. He said, "You can't let God down because you're not holding him up." I used to live every day of my life thinking that I was going to let Jesus down if I didn't build some huge ministry. I prayed every day, "Oh Lord, please don't let me die without fulfilling my purpose!" Wow! No one can hold up under that much pressure.

I'm no longer worried that I will personally mess up God's grand design in the universe if I never reach "mega-status." I've come to realize that God just wants to bring His life to me and then through me. We must above all be faithful in that.

_____________________________________________

Dad_s_Twitter_Pic2Dale Sellers has been in ministry for over 30 years serving in many leadership positions as well working in the corporate field. He recently launched Dale Sellers Leadership Inc. to assist organizations in the areas of leadership, inspiration and evangelism. He has gained a wealth of knowledge from his three decades of experience. He and Gina have two married daughters and one who is a student at Clemson University. You can contact him at dalesellersleadership@gmail.com.

Photo Credit: cafemama via Compfight cc

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The post I Thought I'd Be There By Now: Confessions Of A Leader Who Hasn't Arrived Yet! appeared first on TonyMorganLive.com.


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7 Truths about Pastors Who Disappoint You

preacher

I wrote recently about another fallen pastor. I shared how devastated I was at the news.

I've been amazed at some of the rude comments I've received. And, I love that this is my blog and I can delete them if I want to. It's like they never read my post about Christians being less mean online. :)

Seriously, though, some people seem to think pastors are supposed to be super humans. Sure, pastors are held more responsible in the eyes of God for how we lead in the church, but we aren't any better –or more equipped — at living a victorious Christian life than any other Christian. It's all grace. It's all a work of His Spirit. Apart from Him I can do nothing. And, whenever I stop submitting my will to His will — I fail. Every time. (One guy commented that since I said something like that in my previous post that I must be hiding an affair also. What? I deleted that comment.)

I think the undue pressure on pastors is one of the leading causes of pastor burnout. And, ultimately complete failure. And, granted, much of this is self-induced pressure. I admit that. And, no that is not an excuse. Sin is sin. Sin is a horrible offense to a Holy God. All sin. And all have sinned. And fall short of His glory. (That was my last sermon series by the way.)

I received lots of positive feedback also, but, like us pastors often do, I couldn't get past the few negatives to celebrate all the positives. (I wrote a blog post about this problem some pastors — and others — seem to have.)

So, it led to this post. Just some random thoughts about pastors. Especially those who disappoint you. And me. Because I've been disappointed by pastors too. Shoot, I've been disappointed in myself.

Let me share a few things you may not know about pastors. Seven things to be exact.

Because I like the number seven.

And, let me be clear. I'm not taking this lightly. Sometimes I write more light-hearted to balance the extremes of those who seem to have forgotten how to even smile. And, yes, I think we are to rejoice — find joy — even in the midst of suffering. Because I read that somewhere.

To the contrary. Times like this, when another pastor falls, always reminds me of the horribleness of sin. It always causes me to look inward again at my own life. (And, that's never a bad thing to do — "Search me God" — as David prayed.)

But, there are some things you need to know about pastors.

7 truths about pastors who disappoint you

One person, working on behalf of self, can't destroy the work of the Holy Spirit, working on behalf of God. Your pastor may disappoint you, but that ultimately can't destroy the work God began in you — even through the pastor's teaching. You may be stunned for now, but you'll grow back stronger if you continue to surrender to His will.

Pastors — and even a local body — come and go. But the church — Christ's body — is here to stay. God WILL protect His church.

People will deceive you — even some pastors. But God's Word will never fail you. Ask yourself — who are you extending ultimate trust to anyway?

Pastors lead. I write about it consistently on this blog. I believe God uses people to lead his church. But ultimately they aren't in control. God is. He WILL have the final word.

Just because we preach truth, doesn't meant we've always mastered it. We are still being sanctified too. Isn't that why we need a Savior? And, why the pastor isn't your Savior?

Pastors are often skilled at acting like everything is okay — even when it isn't. You've fooled others before — right? So has your pastor. Some pastors have this false idea that we are supposed to keep you from seeing that we are human. Almost like it was seminary trained into us. (BTW, if I was supposed to get that in seminary — I didn't.)

A pastor is less likely to be transparent with unpredictable outcomes. If they doubt the grace you'll extend, they'll be less likely to share their deepest struggles. We've almost created a system that makes it difficult for the pastor to have failings. And, yes, again, much of this is self-induced pressure.

We need help. All pastors do. All people do. We need people who truly care. Who can accept us flaws and all. Who will love us on days we are doing everything right and days we seem to do everything wrong. People who will call a sin a sin before it reaches the magnitude that destroys other people's lives, damages our greater witness, and hurts the Kingdom work we felt called to do. And, isn't that a primary purpose of the church — making disciples? We need the church too.

That's my seven. Okay eight. But, sometimes we miscount too. Even on Sundays :) We aren't perfect. And, there. Told you. Random. But, you need to know.

So I'll stop there for now.

How's that for honesty?

Now, again, none of this is aimed as an excuse. It's just for transparency.

What are other random facts about pastors others may not know?


Original Page: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/GracedAgain/~3/prdlJz5hsgo/7-truths-about-pastors-who-disappoint-you.html


7 “BE’s” of Effective Leadership and Management


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One of the chief goals of this blog is to encourage better leadership. In this post, I'm including the term management. I believe the two are different functions, but both are vital to a healthy organization. Whether you lead or manage a large or small organization — or church — there are principles for being effective.

Here are 7:

Be aware – Know your team. People are individuals. They have unique expectations and they require different things from leadership. Some require more attention and some less. Use personality profiles or just get to know them over time, but learn the people you are supposed to be leading or managing.

Be open – Let them know you — as a person outside of the role as leader or manager. Be transparent enough that they can learn to trust you.

Be responsive – Don't leave people waiting too long for a response. They'll make up their own if you do — and it's usually not the conclusion you want them to reach.

Be approachable – You can't be everything to everyone, and you may not always be available, but for the people you are called to lead or manage, you need to be approachable. They need to know if there is a problem — or a concern — you will be receptive to hearing from them. I realize the larger the organization the more difficult this becomes, but build systems that allow you to hear from people at every level within the organization.

Be consistent – Over time, the team you lead or manage needs to know you are going to be dependable. The world is changing fast. It's hard to know who to trust these days. We certainly need to be able to trust people we are supposed to follow.

Be trustworthy – Follow through on what you say you will do. If you make a promise — keep it. If you can't support something — say it. If you're not going to do it — say no. Let your word be your bond. Spend time building and protecting your character. Be the quality of person you would want to follow.

Be appreciative – Recognize you can't do it alone. Be grateful. Be rewarding. Celebrate. Love others genuinely and display it well.

What would you add? Upon which of these do you most need to improve?


Original Page: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/GracedAgain/~3/Sxg0CECNWuQ/7-bes-of-effective-leadership-and-management.html


The Story Of Bishop Oyedepo and His Wife: The Richest Pastor

I love this all the way Spirit. Great woman! Isn't she?

Sometimes when we report the stories of pastors that are misbehaving, it is because these things are strange to us and they are not suppose to be the norm. A pastor is suppose to be above board, a person who can say no to any strange woman, even if she was sent to seduce him by marine spirit. Read the story of Bishop David Oyedepo and his wife below and learn from it.

20 Facts About Bishop David And Faith Oyedepo's Marriage That You Should Know:
1. She met him at a Motor Park...
2. She was a university student - GREAT IFE while he was only a Polytechnic student in Kwarapoly (Remember the discrimination) – she could have snubbed him - but she responded.

3. His friends complained that he was carrying Christianity too zealously as if he was the only Christian - she became zealous too. 
4. He took her to church in 1976 and made her sign an agreement (SAILING UNDER SEALED ORDERS) to marry and follow him whether he becomes blind, lame or handicapped… she signed. 
5. Just before he married her, he told her God had sent him to LIBERATE THE WORLD (while he was still hopping between jobs) and went on to resign his job; his elder brother lambasted him, she stuck to him. 
6. He told her God had shown him the key to prosperity - she believed. 
7. He told her they would build a 50,000 capacity tent and preach the gospel from private jets-she believed
her dreamer lover. 8. He was too 'buoyant' to afford a hotel room on his wedding eve, he slept in his rickety Volkswagen Beetle – she married him. 
9. During a moment of insane faith, he ordered a mad man to be put in his car alone with her while she was
pregnant; she remained. 
10. She saw she was dripping blood while pregnant and explained to him that she had a miscarriage, he shouted "It CANNOT Happen, Can I have my food please" – she served him food. 
11. She just had their first baby and there was no food or money at home. He refused to borrow or ask or take church money and they were drinking/eating "CERELAC Baby food' for 3 days – she ate with him. 
12. She came to church one day and saw him so excited with few members while waiting for service to start; he explained to her that service was actually over – she laughed. 
13. People kept praying for her and her husband as they seemed to be crazy and needed deliverance-she kept faith. 14. He announced a new Bible school and she knew there was no facility; she asked him and he replied "Is it your school"? She kept quiet. IT DOESN'T END THERE! 
15. She didn't know they were going to be flying in customized jets round the world. 
16. She didn't know he will pastor and she, co-pastor the largest church auditorium in the world. 
17. She didn't know he will be a father to millions all over the world. 
18. She didn't know he will be hosted by Presidents and Heads of States of nations. 
19. She didn't know he will be a Chancellor and Pioneer of one of the best Private-owned Universities in the
world…..and six others. 
20. She woke up one day on her sick bed in the USA and unexpectedly saw her hubby who had flown in quietly from Nigeria and had refused to wake her up….. he was kneeling on the floor by her legs and crying 'Lord, heal her and prove that you sent me"- She got healed miraculously… …TWICE!. She didn't know. #All she saw was a Man with A BIG GOD inside him. Her name is "FAITH"! 
From the source: 
It is sad to see that many ladies of these days can't stand by a man with purpose and vision like this today. Most ladies want a man that has 'arrived' but forget that most men that walk with God need to grow in Him
even as they (The ladies) grow with him (The husband).

Some of our mothers married our fathers when they had nothing to their names and together they grew to where they got to. Sadly, some of those parents will not accept a spouse that doesn't have much to his or her name when their child wants to be joined with one. Who upturned our values? Who said you need to 'arrive' before taking a helping hand and obtaining blessings from God? 
Hey, marriage is not an achievement like one of ur degrees or acquisition like a car or landed property. Some marriages bring the completeness a man or woman needs. Let's get our priorities right. Thanks mama Oyedepo for not forming #Tushgirl now we all see the #TushQueen you have become to that king - Bishop David Oyedepo.

Original Page: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/OluFamousBlog/~3/tHJl3x9ef0M/the-story-of-bishop-oyedepo-and-his.html


Monday, April 7

10 Ways To Sink Your Sermon Series

By visiting churches across the country, I've learned that many churches use sermon series to hone their message and encourage people to invite their friends, not just for one week but perhaps for four or six. I've also noticed that some churches implement sermon series more effectively than others. And some series engage the unchurched better than others.

You can learn how to do things right from the churches who are doing it wrong. Here are ten ways to sink your sermon series:

  1. Address questions that no one is asking. Your time is limited, so respond to questions people really are asking. For example, How do I raise my kids? How can I save my marriage? What am I supposed to do with my life?
  2. Schedule your series to last more than six weeks. People consider a new series an opportunity to invite their friends, but the longer the series drags on, the less likely those they invite will come.
  3. Pack your church calendar so full that inviting friends to worship isn't a priority. More activities and ministries on the schedule result in less focus on weekend services. Ask yourself: What is our primary way of reaching people who don't attend church? If the answer is your weekend service, focus on making that as effective as possible by doing less of something else.
  4. Teach too much in each message. Too many points can confuse your listeners. Pick one point and stick to it. And remember, brevity is your friend.
  5. Teach the truth without life application. People often don't need more knowledge, but rather to learn how to put their existing knowledge into action. They know Jesus died for them, but what does this mean for them when their alarm goes off on Monday morning?
  6. Assume the message stands alone. The artistic and worship elements that surround the message should prepare people's hearts and minds for God's Word. People must hear the message, but they also need to experience it with their emotions.
  7. Begin a series without appropriate promotion. Launching a series without letting people know it's coming does no good. How will your members invite people ahead of time? Promote what you're talking about and why they should care enough to attend.
  8. Fail to creatively connect biblical truth with the spiritual conversations in our culture. The Bible has a lot to say on hot topics in today's culture. And when culture lobs us a softball and opens up a spiritual dialogue, we should be ready to swing the bat.
  9. Plan a series that only connects with people who already attend your church. Want to ignore the unchurched in your community? A surefire way to do this is to preach a sermon series that assumes your listeners are already Christians.
  10. Ignore the details. A good series involves more than just developing a message. When a team of experts comes together to plan the entire service experience, there's a much better chance the series will succeed in imparting truth and reaching more people for Christ.

We would love to help you develop a strategy for reaching more people. Let us know if we can help you get unstuck.

Photo Credit: Leonard John Matthews via Compfight cc

Build Healthy Senior Leadership Teams!

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Original Page: http://tonymorganlive.com/2014/04/04/10-ways-sink-sermon-series/

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